BRIDPORT RADIO - TOWN CLIER

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Thursday, 20 November 2008 ~

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TOWN CLIER

Whats all this about a new Chinese town crier? Where is the problem with enjoying a bit of tradition in the form of a loud person wearing shiny shoes, ridiculous white socks, plus 2's and a three pointed hat? The new incumbent has decided that a hand bell is far too heavy for her and that a large Chinese Gong complete with a big stick to beat it with is far more lightweight and portable!! Not happy with changing the traditional hailing device our new crier has also decided to enlist the help of the Pantomime players and decked herself out as Aladdin. Have the town council approved this departure from tradition I wonder or have we got a Maverick Crier on our hands, shortly to be seen storming into selected town take-aways and frightening innocent drunks by banging her gong and shouting 'he's behind you'!!
We'll be seeing Geoff Ackerman turning out as widow twanky next.
Wurzel

Users' Comments (15)

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Posted by mad majors mate, on 23-07-2007 18:45,

If you girls were to stop bickering and start racing, Bridport would be a better, happier place.

Posted by The Bat, on 24-07-2007 07:39,

What is the point of having a tradition if it isn't followed? Surely it is no longer a tradition as soon as it is departed from? Bin the pantomime town crier before the rot sets in. In fact let's stick to the tradition of having a MALE town crier.

Posted by Massive Cock Fighter, on 24-07-2007 18:34,

Bring back the Male one.... the old bloke who had a BIg bell... and if he's passed away; dig him up....... I don't believe in Female town criers...There ain't such a thing! I live in Bridport cos I value TRADITION.... I reckon Bat 'd make a good Town Crier..

Posted by wurzel, on 25-07-2007 13:26,

I didn't see the position advertised anywhere Bungle, otherwise I'd have put Tim Quirke up for the post. Ideal candidate I think, verbose, well practiced in the art of bell ringing (time at the bar)and not known for cross dressing or a prediliction towards pantomime clothing!!

Posted by Rosieo6, on 25-07-2007 14:10,

Bat you aren't wrong,the only deviation should be that female town crier is allowed to wear a skirt if not inclined to trousers.

Posted by andy head, on 25-07-2007 18:38,

I like the idea of a maverick female town crier - represents my kind of Bridport. Innovation rooted in the best of traditional wisdom. All power to the gongess - I hope the gong doesn't sound crap though. Has anyone heard it?

Posted by Morning Loves It, on 25-07-2007 20:19,

I agree with you Wurzel. Mr Quirk is the ideal candidate for Town Crier. Should he be told?

Posted by Bungle, on 26-07-2007 09:17,

A couple of 'polite' questions wurzel. Where the hell have you been? For your information - and anyone else that may be wondering the same as your good self. The position of Town Clier - sorry, Crier, was mentioned at length, in the Bridport News and in the town's quarterly bulletin (issue 5 Spring 2006) that the Town Council send out to all households in the parish. The position of Town Crier was the main feature telling people to contact the Council at Mountfield if they were interested in the post. Only one person did, and we know now who that was, to the town's dismay. As for our beloved Timothy Ffinlo Quirke, a couple of problems there too! Tim is not in good health, or wasn't last time I saw him. Although he'd have the required non-pantomime 'dress sense', the exact English pronounciation and precise knowledge of the town and where it's best to 'cry' from, unfortunately bless him, there are too many pubs en route and he would be dragged - kicking and screaming - into many of them by his multitude of fellow imbibers! Including our esteemed editorial crew at Bridport Radio??? But I must agree wurzel, he'd have been damned good at the job! As for the comments by MCF, the previous crier is still alive and kicking but one arm is longer than the other, hence his retirement. The Bat would make a superb crier. He could 'cry' from his favourite haunt atop the Town Hall, with the aid of a megaphone, and he would never have to come down. Now there's a thought to ponder!

Posted by goccibos, on 26-07-2007 12:15,

Daft tradition, how embarrassing, about as useful as a not very useful thing in a useful thing shop, of which there are a few in the town. back on the cider, switch the lights out.

Posted by wurzel, on 26-07-2007 12:24,

Ok Bungle fair enough it was advertised in the Bridport news and I missed it, but how I managed to miss the advert in the town council magazine I'll never know! I look forward to this rivetting and informative publication every month/quarter/6 months, how often does it come out? have I missed one? can I get a back issue? As for Tim Quirke I thought he was on the mend. I saw him falling off a bar stool only a fortnight ago and assumed he was feeling better bless him!

Posted by wurzel, on 26-07-2007 13:28,

You must have a pretty good line of sight onto Bucky doo from your lofty post Bat. Any chance of getting a clear shot on Aladdin mid gong??

Posted by Bungle, on 27-07-2007 07:31,

More information for you Wurzel. The rivetting and informative next quarterly issue of the council magazine is due in the autumn. Probably when the new Town Clerk has got round to writing his 'hello' speech. You probably did miss an issue but you can get a back issue from Mountfield, just ask for Mrs. Bullock - she'll sort you out! Tim Quirke - falling off a bar stool. Well! He probably will tonight, it's his 60th birthday today!!! Happy brithday Timothy Ffinlo Quirke! Barman extraodinaire!

Posted by Carlito, on 27-07-2007 09:41,

Not wanting to sound misogonistic, but isn't there a distinct danger of course, that the new crier will sound like nothing more than a hag, screaming orders at the general public?...where the only relief from the unrelenting high-pitched tirade is the bong of her ""yes/no game"" gong. With any luck, that particluar sound may trigger sea-gull attacks, and before long she'll have to change her character from Aladdin, to the blind peddler!

Posted by Massive Cock Fighter, on 27-07-2007 17:56,

Re: Andy Head: #6 Yes I have heard it and, frankly it's Pitiful ! And re: yr comments ""represents my kind of Bridport"" Please would you be so kind as to enlighten me about 'Your' kind of Bridport... th one where everything's topsy turvy and Town Criers are Chinese women....... NB wasn't it you Andy who suggested th 'Bridport Radio Brewhead evening' some time back..? Did it ever happen? I would have come along with some genuine but somewhat suspect Brew I'd created years before..... Why don't we organise another on either West Bay beach or @ Eype.. that's a bit more difficult to get to but far more in keepin with th spirit of th thing....

Posted by The Bat, on 30-07-2007 17:37,

'Ere, Ex police constable Les Cummings would make a most venerable town crier. Get rid of the grandma with the gong. If I spot her flapping he rlips, I shoot one off between her gongs.

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