Well, the Barman has done it again, sticking true to my slightly strange ideas. After always having a enthusiasts passion for the most eco-friendly of motor vehicles...or not, I'm buying a Tranbant. Except I'm doing it as a roadtrip. It all started when I saw a Top Gear programme years back, when Tiff Needell was running a piece about the worst cars ever made, and the Trabant popped up. Everything about it is naff; the Duraplast body reinforced with cotton, the 2-stroke 26HP engine, the fact the fuel tank sits on top of the engine...naff but simple. East German engineering at it's finest (?).
PRICEY So after saving a little bit of cash I started looking into getting one. The problem is that they are becoming slightly pricey here for what they're actually worth. So I looked a little bit further into it and decided to find one in Europe and import it back.
CHIPS So after hunting about a few websites I had a decision to make. Do I get one from Hungary, where they're cheap as the proverbial chips, but the language barrier is huge, or do I go to the motherland and get one there where it's a little more expensive, but at least with my school level German I could get by? Seeing as I'm going to be driving it back, I decided on the latter, as it's also nearer and the Trabbi is reknowned for it's maintenance problems.
So I started scouting German auction sites and car sales sites and eventually came across the beast. Based in Possneck, it's right in the heart of the 'DDR'. I got in touch and the chap said he will hold the car for me.
I managed to book me a one-way flight to Germany for 1p plus taxes (God bless Ryanair), and figured out the transport from the airport to Possneck. By the looks of it, 2 trains, can't wait to see how a railway should *properly* work.
CARBON FOOTPRINT So once I've figured out how to drive the Trabbi (the gearstick is where the wiper stalk is) I'm planning to drive it back, possibly via the Nurburgring, where I shall attempt to make the slowest time around, before bringing it into Dover. Once it's here, need to get it MOT'd (should be easy), insured (quite difficult), and then get it registered (too much red-tape for my liking), and then I shall be pootling about leaving the biggest carbon footprint in town!
OH YES! i travelled the old EastGermany quite a bit just after the(berlin) wall came down.always knew when a Trabbi was in front,could smell and then see the two-stroke fumes!they are veryveryvery slow.it will be a looooong drive home. enjoy!
Posted by The Bat, on 13-07-2007 07:10,
I love the idea of having the fuel tank over the engine so that if it leaks the whole car and driver go up in a ball of flames, leaving no evidence for the next of kin to sue the manufacturer.
Posted by Denzlepob_at_work, on 13-07-2007 07:57,
As a well known local businessman and Dragons Den type entrepreneur I admire your tenacity and chutzpah, lets look at the figures for this venture: Flight 1p Trabant 30p Food 69p (Lidls) Fuel 49GBP Now lets turn this little trip into a profit making venture. Many Eastern European types are looking for cheap travel to the U.K. at this time, why not offer 4 of our fellow European Citizens passage to Blighty (can a Trabby carry 5) Eastern Europeans = 250GBP X 4 = 1000GBP Showing a net profit of 950GBP If anyone else has any business questions for me I would be more than happy to advise.
Posted by Carlito, on 16-07-2007 11:44,
(adding to Denzel's business plan)... A life in prison for human trafficking = Priceless.
Posted by Rustic, on 16-07-2007 15:45,
Well done mate At last someone who is setting out on an adventure just because it seems like ""a good crack"". No airy fairy, bunny hugging, politically correct, whiney moany, killjoy, hairshirt wearing, banner waving crud about saving the planet., just a great idea being put into action. hats off and three cheers Hurraaah Huraaah Hurraah. Oh and ""Sting"" if you are reading this and thinking ""but what happened to the rain forests? what happened to the rain forests"" Well Sting, we had to cut them down to print your money on them. Oh yeah! and if anyone is thinking of going to see the newly reformed Police then don’t bother, the fact is that if you missed it first time round when it was fresh and new and ""of its time"" then you missed it, simple as that. (the same does not apply to Led Zepplin)
Posted by Massive Cock Fighter, on 16-07-2007 19:03,
But, Rustico does 'it' also apply to Genesis....? I got held up the other Sunday night for hours in Twickers as all th old fans were spillin out of Twickenham Stadium followin th Genesis crack. They were a damn good band in their day... Re th Trabant journey home to Blighty... But why Barman did you choose such an ugly Motor...(if the Trabbi actually qualifies for that classification..) Why didn't you go for a Simca 1100.... they were brilliant motors; I used to get a lift to work in one of them.... I've been thinkin about doin th same thing with a lil ol Fiat 500 from Southern Italy. I was in Calabria in May and you see loads of em rustin at th side of th road... I bet you could pick one up for just a few Euros....Or some lemons... (they cost £1000's over here) that would be such a great crack driving up from Calabria up through Italy & then through the Simplon Pass and down into Switzerland and then up through Macon to one of the channel ports... Anyone fancy bein my co-driver... ? Mornin Loves it... how about you...?
Posted by Denzlepob_at_work, on 16-07-2007 21:26,
Quote
4. Written by Carlito, on Monday 16 July 2007 (adding to Denzel's business plan)... A life in prison for human trafficking = Priceless.
In the spirit of goodwill I will bring 3 other people from Bridport to Eastern Europe when I get around to buying my very own Trabant like our famous barman, can you suggest anyone?
Posted by Denzlepob_at_work, on 17-07-2007 10:48,
Mr Rustic, I do believe you have revealed yourself by stealing that top Sting gag. Plagiarist.
Posted by Just_A_Barman, on 22-07-2007 03:43,
Hehehe, I'm really looking forward to the drive home, I can't wait to hold up everything with my 80km/h (50mph) 'cruising speed'!! I was planning on taking it around the Nurburgring on the way back, but sadly (or maybe thankfully) the track won't be open when I'm there. I just love the quirkiness of the motor, MCF, the fact that it's crap is a bonus. Just go ahead and do your 500 trip! Worry about the problems when they happen, otherwise you'll ""umm..."" and ""ahh...."" over it. There's a huge chance the Trabbi will breakdown on the way back, even a chance I won't get it back and it'd be a waste of money to some, but it wouldn't be to me. I'd just think '[edit] it, oh well' and come up with another madcap idea 'just cuz'. Anyways, I fly out on the 21st August on the Tuesday, and hope to be back in the country by Sunday, pulled up outside No10 enjoying a pint. That's the plan, hopefully it'll work!
Posted by shagsack, on 22-07-2007 12:26,
yeah mate, take that whingeing carlito with you... and toto and realworld too- just in case they might decide to return. ...pack heavy duty ear defenders or you might not make it to east germany... just the nearest brick wall!! Don't bother bringing them back tho' Cheers
Posted by tuzo, on 23-07-2007 16:03,
OH (SS)you finally got round to giving me a nickname...i am touched... (really) yep i would be happy to go on a trip,but you come too? (you know it makes sense)
Posted by goccibos, on 24-07-2007 11:05,
Well said Carlito
Posted by shagsack, on 24-07-2007 11:33,
oh joy, you're still around. ...can't have finished your Harry Potter book already???
Posted by tuzo, on 24-07-2007 14:15,
cant abide H.P>(or the sauce) more of a ""war of the flea"" type..(ss 13)
Posted by Massive Cock Fighter, on 24-07-2007 19:11,
Hey Shaggers.... I presume th Harry Potter insult was aimed at Ms tuzo...... I certainly wouldn't waste good eye time on such a lot of nonsense..... I wouldn't read anything of Rowlings anyway.. AND she plagiarised Jill Murphy's series of books for the HP stories. I don't like people with TOOOOOO much money. Anyway can't yer make a comment about th epic Trabbant journey....seeings as yr on th page.....? I mean this ain't th Abuse thy Neighbour thread....... You miss that even more than Carlito don't yer !
Posted by Massive Cock Fighter, on 24-07-2007 23:59,
Hey Shagsack I want to apologise. I think I referred to you as 'Shaggers'... can't think what I was thinkin of - as it ain't even Witty & I hate being Glib.(& I weren't even on the Lash as I'm trying to stay off it durin th week...!) No offence intended Matey.
Posted by shagsack, on 26-07-2007 09:40,
No worries mate, and yeah, you're right about the thread thing...actually wished the Barman all the best in person,just last night. ...You can let Carlito out of the boot now, we'd all miss him too much -you're right! ...i hope the rain clears for you by the way, don't trabants go a bit soft in the rain?...seem to remember something about cardboard being used to make the bodywork -or was that nonsense?
Posted by Just_A_Barman, on 30-07-2007 12:32,
Thank God it ain't cardboard Shagsack, I wouldn't have anything left! Nah even worse, it's made out of some kind of plastic that's re-inforced with cotton but even though it's so light, I'm deciding against doing a hillclimb up Abbotsbury....
Posted by Atomic Shirtlifter, on 31-07-2007 18:28,
Carlito.... Most of your posts seem just to be an opportunity to take a cheap shot at Tuzo.... Why don't you take someone of your own stature on.. and stop bein such a coward ?
Well, the Barman has done it again, sticking true to my slightly strange ideas. After always having a enthusiasts passion for the most eco-friendly of motor vehicles...or not, I'm buying a Tranbant. Except I'm doing it as a roadtrip. It all started when I saw a Top Gear programme years back, when Tiff Needell was running a piece about the worst cars ever made, and the Trabant popped up. Everything about it is naff; the Duraplast body reinforced with cotton, the 2-stroke 26HP engine, the fact the fuel tank sits on top of the engine...naff but simple. East German engineering at it's finest (?).
PRICEY
So once I've figured out how to drive the Trabbi (the gearstick is where the wiper stalk is) I'm planning to drive it back, possibly via the Nurburgring, where I shall attempt to make the slowest time around, before bringing it into Dover. Once it's here, need to get it MOT'd (should be easy), insured (quite difficult), and then get it registered (too much red-tape for my liking), and then I shall be pootling about leaving the biggest carbon footprint in town!
