Cabs
Advertisement
Steptoes
Click Here to Listen...
Friday, 21 November 2008 ~
Search
WebBridport Radio
SCREENSAVER MODE
FRONT PAGE
RADIO
NEWS & VIEWS
BUCKY DOO
ENTERTAINMENT
WHERE TO STAY
ARTS & CRAFTS
FOOD & DRINK
SPORT & FITNESS
CLASSIFIEDS
BRIDPORT BUSINESSES
MAP - INTERACTIVE
WEATHER - 5 DAYS
LINKS
DOCTOR MALICIOUS
HELP
USING THE SITE
SITE MAP
ADVERTISING
TERMS & CONDITIONS
REGISTER
Fruits of the Erth
Crosby


PIRATE PASTIES E-mail
 

ImageDue to a recent spate of Cornish pasties masquerading as Dorset pasties in shops, cafés and restaurants in Bridport and the surrounds, Local Trading Standards Officers have raided several outlets and issued warnings to those vending the filthy imposters. Although the counterfeit pasties are extremely difficult to spot with a crimped crust and an egg glaze, the taste is the giveaway. Local Trading Standards Occifer said: “There is only one place to buy a real Dorset Pasty and that is Leakers on East Street, no further comment, no pictures, goodbye.”

Dead giveaway…

How to spot the tell tale signs of a forged pasty:

  1. Dorset Pasties have peas.
  2. Cornish Pasties do not.
  3. Crust crimping on a Dorset pasty is clockwise left to right.
  4. Crust crimping on a Cornish pasty is anticlockwise right to left.
  5. Dorset Pasty is crimped over the top, similar to a Pastysaurus.
  6. Cornish pasty is crimped on the long edge.
  7. A Stegossauruss is an extinct Pastievore

Image

Leakers Expert Says...

We contacted Michelle Powell of world famous Leakers Bakery fame,

Expert: “Our pasties are baked fresh every day, we mix our filling evenly, unlike the Cornish who tend to blob the meat at the front leading to disappointment when you hit the bulk of the potato, with a Leakers Large Pasty (1.30P) you enjoy an even spread right the way through the savoury product.”

Bridport Radio Reporter: “What’s best, Hot or cold?”

Expert: “Our pasty eating customers prefer them warm for lunch and cold for tea.”

Bridport Radio reporter ”Why is that?”

Expert: “I don’t know.”

Bridport Radio reporter: “Is there a British Standard or an iSO reference for the make up of a standard pasty?”

Expert: “No, don’t be an idiot, it’s a savoury, not a helicopter part.”

Bridport Radio reporter: “Can we have the recipe?”

Expert: “No, clear off!”

Image

China

Local Trading Standards Officers working for the counterfeit pie division are convinced the pasties originate from the Far East. “We are convinced the imitation savoury snack originates from the Far East, and we don’t mean Barking” Said the spokesperson.

Horror

Image
Kate and Sidney Pie
Kate and Sidney Pye visitors to Bridport spoke of their horror when they discovered they had eaten a counterfeit savoury: “We are horrified, the perpetrators of such heinous crimes should be incarcerated for life, we bit into our savouries and were quickly disappointed by the sheer volume of potato in the mix, one time, Shabba”

 

Prize Spotted

Image
We think we know who may be responsible…
Have you been the victim of Pasty crime? Have you unwhittingstally eaten one of the savoury imposters? Contact Bridport Radio with your savoury horror story and you could win a warm Pasty and a coffee with the Editor and Roving food Critic and reporter Denzille De Ville, probably on a Saturday, before 1PM, before they sell out, at Leakers in East Street, Bridport.

 

Please send in your recipe’s and baking tips.

KEEP ‘EM PEELED.
Denzille De Ville


Users' Comments (10) RSS feed comment
Posted by The Bat, on 02-06-2007 17:06,
This is outrageous!! This article is nothing but a thinly disguised advert for Leakers bakery! (in East Street Bridport) How many pieces of Dorset pasty silver did Leakers (in East Street Bridport) pay Denzille De Ville in order to have him betray other fine pasty outlets in Bridport?
 

Posted by Dark Star, on 04-06-2007 07:17,
Seems to me that all you whingers are probably worried that your cosy little arrangments with the ex HM (who was a nice chap on the odd occasions he showed his face) over moorings etc may come to an end and with any luck the new HM will have a good clear out of some of the tatty old crap that masquerades as boats,start enforcing the rules re moorings and kick them scabby anglers off the piers, they all come down from the grim north make the place look worse than it is leave their chip wrappers and bugger off back home having spent F all to help the local economy, maybe BAT would be better employed picking the lazy freeloaders off before they get here. Jamie for President!!!!
 

Posted by Gull Munchin Polecat, on 04-06-2007 16:01,
Leakers is Way way way Over priced & way over rated if you ask me..... I prefered the people who were there before.... then you could buy a decent wholemeal loaf..... not any more.. it;s all sundried tomatoe bread and fancy stuff with no yeast, no wheat or no bread in it...
 

Posted by Real World, on 05-06-2007 19:05,
I was in the queue at Leakers a few months ago, a couple of places behind me a most obnoxious snotty family - all with names like Hugo and Annabel. They loudly debated which lovely cakes they would purchase for tea. Daddy stood outside with some more of the family ( all dressed in Boden ). The two blokes infront of me bought a dozen pasties - leaving just two remaining. Daddy then sent in a message to little Hugo, to tell Mummy he'd like a pastie. I didn't want a pastie. But I bought the last two buggers, then hung around in the shop pretending to arrange the shopping in my bag. Oh the joy when they were told all the pasties had gone. That's entertainment.
 

Posted by Denzlepob_at_work, on 06-06-2007 09:46,
Dear Real World, was it your bag for life you were fumbling around in? Cameras eveywhere..............
 

Posted by shagsack, on 08-06-2007 10:21,
obnoxious... means offensive, objectionable and disliked. Are you sure you've got that story the right way around?? You spelt pasty wrong. Twice.
 

Posted by Misty, on 08-06-2007 15:29,
Being on the inside, i can assure you that the stegasaurus pasty scandal (leakers promotion) was not an inside job (as suspected by ""the bat""). I believe that goccibos may have had one to many takeway curries to believe that all our speciality flours are the same! (and a wheel barrow is a very fine way for bread to travel, how else should we transport it to its adoring fans at the farmers market?)
 

Posted by The Bat, on 06-07-2007 07:22,
Do leakers sell spelt bread?
 

Posted by Denzlepob_at_work, on 06-07-2007 10:14,
My Dearest Mr Bat, Leakers do sell a spelt loaf, I have contacted Leakers for you and confirm a price of 2.20GBP For a large plain or 1.80GBP for a smaller loaf with sunflower seeds. Leakers suggested ordering now as stocks were limited as of 11:10am 06/07/2007 to order call 01308 423296 or pop-in, hope this helps. Can I be your apprentice?
 

Posted by Carlito, on 06-07-2007 19:11,
Just in case Misty reads this...why can't Bakers do a range of continental breads using continental flours etc. , why, in the 21st century are we still always faced with english versions of french bread / italian bread etc. etc. Our flours are POO!
 

Add your comment



BridportRadio © 2005-2008 -

ONLY MEMBERS CAN ADD COMMENTS
PLEASE LOGIN / REGISTER HERE

< Prev   Next >
 

Latest...
LYME BAY CONSULTING
Latest Comments
WHAT IN THE WIP WOP?
Beardy weirdy Bill Oddy fails to cause...
read more...
By Drain0

GROW YOUR OWN
GREAT.....so glad someone still knows...
read more...
By Marcia

CONGRATULATIONS!
As much as I love the bridport Post...
read more...
By Bentley

CONGRATULATIONS!
Herzlichen Glueckwuensch! All the best...
read more...
By lucy

PIG FARMING
Whilst not rearing pigs seems to be a...
read more...
By bubbaphatass

PIG FARMING
I've just realsied that I haven't been...
read more...
By goccibos

US ELECTIONS
I propose an amendment; pants will now...
read more...
By goccibos

Who's Online

Login Form





Lost Password?
No account yet? Register
Lyme Bay Boat Trips

© 2008 BRIDPORT RADIO