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Due to a recent spate of Cornish pasties masquerading as Dorset pasties in shops, cafés and restaurants in Bridport and the surrounds, Local Trading Standards Officers have raided several outlets and issued warnings to those vending the filthy imposters. Although the counterfeit pasties are extremely difficult to spot with a crimped crust and an egg glaze, the taste is the giveaway. Local Trading Standards Occifer said: “There is only one place to buy a real Dorset Pasty and that is Leakers on East Street, no further comment, no pictures, goodbye.”
How to spot the tell tale signs of a forged pasty: - Dorset Pasties have peas.
- Cornish Pasties do not.
- Crust crimping on a Dorset pasty is clockwise left to right.
- Crust crimping on a Cornish pasty is anticlockwise right to left.
- Dorset Pasty is crimped over the top, similar to a Pastysaurus.
- Cornish pasty is crimped on the long edge.
- A Stegossauruss is an extinct Pastievore

We contacted Michelle Powell of world famous Leakers Bakery fame, Expert: “Our pasties are baked fresh every day, we mix our filling evenly, unlike the Cornish who tend to blob the meat at the front leading to disappointment when you hit the bulk of the potato, with a Leakers Large Pasty (1.30P) you enjoy an even spread right the way through the savoury product.” Bridport Radio Reporter: “What’s best, Hot or cold?” Expert: “Our pasty eating customers prefer them warm for lunch and cold for tea.” Bridport Radio reporter ”Why is that?” Expert: “I don’t know.” Bridport Radio reporter: “Is there a British Standard or an iSO reference for the make up of a standard pasty?” Expert: “No, don’t be an idiot, it’s a savoury, not a helicopter part.” Bridport Radio reporter: “Can we have the recipe?” Expert: “No, clear off!” 
Local Trading Standards Officers working for the counterfeit pie division are convinced the pasties originate from the Far East. “We are convinced the imitation savoury snack originates from the Far East, and we don’t mean Barking” Said the spokesperson.  Kate and Sidney Pie Kate and Sidney Pye visitors to Bridport spoke of their horror when they discovered they had eaten a counterfeit savoury: “We are horrified, the perpetrators of such heinous crimes should be incarcerated for life, we bit into our savouries and were quickly disappointed by the sheer volume of potato in the mix, one time, Shabba”  We think we know who may be responsible… Have you been the victim of Pasty crime? Have you unwhittingstally eaten one of the savoury imposters? Contact Bridport Radio with your savoury horror story and you could win a warm Pasty and a coffee with the Editor and Roving food Critic and reporter Denzille De Ville, probably on a Saturday, before 1PM, before they sell out, at Leakers in East Street, Bridport. Please send in your recipe’s and baking tips. KEEP ‘EM PEELED. Denzille De Ville
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