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NUKE BLAST SHAKES TOWN E-mail
 

ImageA teacup fell off a shelf and was smashed in The Beach & Barnicott just a few minutes after Elvis impersonator Kim IL Sung pushed the button on his nuclear bomb test. Beach & Barnicott owner Tom Gillott said; "I was minding my own business when all of a sudden a mug fell off a shelf and smashed, there goes my profit margin I thought, it was my favourite Teenage Mutant Hero Turtle mug as well, it was an heirloom, I never imagined connecting the two events but when I saw the evening news it all clicked into place, I was smacked in the gob"

Image
The green blip shows when the teacup smashed
The blast timed at 2am eastern standard time or 18:20 BMT (Bridport Meal Time) co-incided with the evening rush, timed it would seem to cause as much chaos as possible to Bridports infrastructure.  The nuclear development program was started over a border dispute between North and South Korea When 35 million Leylandii conifers were planted by the South Korean gardening massive in an attempt to annoy the people of the north, the plan worked.

 

Image
Elvis picking wax out of his ear.

 
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How to make Gobi Aloo Sag.

How nuclear bombs work.  http://science.howstuffworks.com/nuclear-bomb.htm

Special report from Bridport Radio reporter Scoop Doggy Style.

Where were you when the bomb went off? Fortunately all the mikkimugs survived the blast, win a prize for being in the most apt and amusing place.


Users' Comments (3)

Posted by bogbeast, on 16-10-2006 20:53,
i was in bucky doo square ...ground zero ... i heard the tell tale crack and thump and the scagheads ran ...nuclear fall out i though.. no it was the bat finding his aiming mark ...god bless em ..keep it up
 

Posted by Carlito, on 17-10-2006 08:46,
I was visiting the Fudge department at Forest Products at the time. It was Chaos! There were fudge-packers running in all directions. Great chunks of molten ""Rose Water and Almond Surprise"" fudge bars were flying in all directions. A distraught fudge packer fell into my arms at one point screaming, it was only when I looked at the back of their head that I realised two jars of Weasel-Sperm and Pigme Oil chutney had emptied themselves on to the poor victim's pony tail - causing their hair to perm into an 80's mullet! Following the the blast, it was clear that various mutations had sprung into life, as a troop of marching Cray Fish burst from Davey's Locker across the forecourt and savaged Jimmy Allen Senior with an arsenal of filleting knives and hairnets. I was lucky to escape with my life, although since then, I fear that I too may have been infected by the fallout. This morning I deficated an entire property section of the Wipwop - and as I type this, my left tesicle is vibrating like a mobile phone! Who in the name of God is texting my left testicle??!! Stop it! I say! Stop it at once!
 

Posted by andy head, on 21-10-2006 15:50,
Shame we didn't gete a warning - could have organised and delightful ""Did the earth move for you moment?""
 

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