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CHAV BIRDS E-mail
 

Have four resident chimney-gulls and two young'ns on our roof in centre of Bridport. In the last year have noticed their presence daily. In fact, they, like me, would probably consider taking a towel or fishing rod to the beach, being so landlocked and townie. I doubt whether they ate fish, or visited the sea more than me this year. I hope I ate less chips than them.

They patrol the streets regularly and appear to have a very 'un-natural' existence. My residents are part of the team that go through all the bin liners on a Tuesday morn. I have witnessed this early in the day as a couple of birds will casually walk from bin to bin together sharing the spoils, and leaving the rubbish lying about in great heaps.

Gulls have succesfully adapted to the man-made environment away from the sea and scavenge constantly for an existence. Their existence is totally reliant on human activity, including waste. They did have a large colony of gulls at the old tip, but these days there is plenty of waste on the streets after a night out (walking about in white trainers and thrown on the ground), and night feeding is a common occurence. Gulls look remarkably well on a junk food diet, unlike the humans that share it with them. It would be interesting/impossible to know whether food additives have affected their social behaviour or growth. However, wondering aside, they are not the same romantic Jonathan Livingstone creatures you see nesting and living on the cliffs of the more isolated beaches diving for fish and scouring the shore. Town-gulls are, mainly because of their propensity of excreting everywhere, bordering on the status of vermin as a health hazard. With an increased presence due to their adaptable nature, they become more than 'a bit of a nuisance' and become victims of their own success in breeding.

The birdworld is as savage as any in the animal kingdoms, and smaller 'garden birds' cannot compete with enormous gulls and are driven out. Even crows keep their distance. [Funny how pigeons seem to co-exist. Possibly because they also rely on Human assistance?] So, if there is a recognisable problem, mainly due to increasing numbers, we have some options. We either make our environmant seagull proof, which is unlikely, and 'expensive' according to some. This would initially provoke desperate hungry birds to go to more desperate lengths to find food. Presumably they would then either die, or go and adapt somehwere else. This would also entail re-educating the majority of locals and visitors to maintain vigilance. Fining feeders is a good idea, there are signs about the place, but they are ignored and nothing jogs the memory like a whopping disproportionate fine. Gull wardens?

Alternatively, 'We' could shoot a few every now and then so the  flocks are periodically made 'manageable' and less of a health hazard etc. Years ago eggs were pricked in the nests to keep the numbers down. Would this be a compromise? It would remove the spectacle of blood and feathers. Who would like to shin up onto roofs and brave the savage beaks to do it? Maybe pro-eggers would complain. Or, we could leave things to find their own balance, which is the official local policy.

Regarding bin mess. The council pay two foot-workers with  brooms and employ two mechanical brushes to clean the streets. They would have to do this anyway because people in Bridport don't know how to use bins either. It is much cheaper to employ these operatives than to instigate a green-bin scheme and is therefore extremely unlikely to change in the near or distant future.

Paying almost 150 quid a month council tax I am pretty ambivalent about paying extra for tidyness. I already pay the guy with the brush, I sort of want to see him keep his job and do some work for his pay, and hope the rats don't come in.

If you would like them gone from your vicinity you could try to catch a seagull in a net, dye it another colour and release it. Its fellows will attack or pursue it out of the area and it will probably go and die somewhere else.

Question: 'What is the penalty for unofficial seagull killing?'  Anybody know?

Ranga

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Users' Comments (4)

Posted by andy head, on 11-09-2006 22:40,
I was told that putting a small piece of calcium carbide in a chip and feeding it to a gull has the terrible consequence of inflating the gull with acetylene to the point where it floats up into the air like a balloon and eventually bursts. Wouldn't that be just awful to see on video?
 

Posted by The Bat, on 13-09-2006 08:44,
May I suggest a sniper in the belltower of the town hall could provide a simple anser to the problem. A sniper would also have sorted out the Friday Fight problem elsewhere on this site.
 

Posted by Morning Loves It, on 21-09-2006 10:00,
They are very brave. An enormous baby seagull walked through my backdoor and into my galley kitchen and made for the waste bin. I got a broom handle to shoo it out but it flapped it's wings and frightened me to bits. Then it started to attempt escape by hurling itself at the glass in the back door instead of the open doorway I had to call a bloke neighbour to get it out of the house. Seeing as the day before a huge slow worm found it's way into a shirt sleeve as it hung out to dry on the clothes line then revealed itself to me on my ironing board causing me to faint in shock I feel as if I live in a jungle.
 

Posted by The Bat, on 26-09-2006 14:57,
That's nothing. Once after 8 pints of lager and 2 glasses of wine, I was chased for 10 minutes by a giant pilsbury doe man around my back garden. I only managed to get away by clicking the heels of my boots together and saying 'there's no place like home', after which I was miraculously transported several hours through time to my bed just when the alarm clock stated ringing. (I think the spring mechanism in the clock may have had an adverse effect on the balance of the space time continuum). (And yes, you do spell continuum like that).
 

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