Have you found yourself saying "The youth of today have no respect" or "In my day you could catch the train to West Bay, have a slap up fish dinner, three pints of IPA and catch the charabanc home and still have change out of a farthing" Well here's another feature we've revived from the archives that might appeal to you. especially if you are one of the elite Grumpy Old Gits.
...AND ANOTHER THING, those motorists who wear stickers in their rear windows saying things like "BABY ON BOARD" or "SMALL PERSON ON BOARD", what are they trying to tell us? that someone had sex with them? that they know what pain is? if it is supposed to make others drive in a different manner, forget that, and some of the drivers wearing the sticker dont behave any differently either in most cases!!
If i see one of these stickers in a car in a car park, should i ring the police and report that someone has left a child in a parked car??
Or should the seemingly proud parents behave in a responsible way and perhaps remove the sticker when they park? Or better still realise it only makes them look stupid for having the thing there in the first place and remove it forever? there will be more moans soon!! by the way some grannies are small persons too!!
I pulled into the South Street car park the other day only to find someone with a disabled sticker parking in an able persons space. I informed the gestapo warden but he said there was nothing he could do. that’s political correctness gone mad that is. And while we are on the subject of traffic wardens is it just me or do these people look like nazi storm troopers? Why do they have to dress in such a fascist style and strut about as though they are some kind of american super marshal who is “gonna run them degenerate law breaking car parkers out of town”. Do you think that on the application form for the job that it asks if you like dressing up in Village People hand-me-downs and looking butch.
Posted by rustic, on 14-04-2006 12:55,
ere, there is a big sign up in West Bay harbor that says ""No Swimming"". Well what happens if you fall in?? A bloke fell in the other day and was swimming to the side and I had to throw bricks at his head until he stopped because he was breaking a by law and you cant have that going on.
Posted by tinymind, on 21-04-2006 10:12,
""X marks the spot where ye can park me hearties""
Posted by goccibos, on 25-04-2006 09:57,
You wanna get one o' them badges, I saw a bloke stop outside Leakages, spring from his Ford Focarse into the shop and emerge with flour based product, he was even nattering to that nice lady Caroline for ages, then ran across the pavement into the car and drowved orf. W****R. What illness has he? Parkinsons? Get it! PARKinsons! I should write for the telly.
Posted by Waldorf and Stadtler, on 28-04-2006 11:04,
We don't need more parking we need less cars (and more monorails).
Posted by goccibos, on 30-04-2006 13:06,
it definitely says it's your turn in the barrel tonight so wet your lips and lets go.
Posted by MikeyP, on 18-05-2006 10:50,
Anyone remember when you could go and see actual proper live music in one of several Bridport venues? Oh the good old days. Still, at least you can still cue for ages to get into The Royal Joke to hear some really 'brilliant' music eh!
Posted by ooaargh, on 23-05-2006 10:18,
All northerners and anyone with a ""funny accent"" should be stopped at Askers Roadhouse to the east and Hunters Lodge to the west. They should be required to hand over the keys to their vehicle and all personal items such as money, credit cards MP3s etc and then sent back to their smoke stained, ""by eck the beers better up north"" industrial wastelands. That way we could all benefit from their money without having to listen to the infuriating nasal whine that passes for speech.
Posted by rustic, on 23-05-2006 10:36,
Whilst I enjoy watching a good game of soccer and will be cheering on ENGERLAAND (and any other of the UK teams that qualified, oops there were none) in the forthcoming global soccer tournament I find the sight of cheap St Georges flags flapping in the breeze perched on the top of some clapped out Cavalier enough to make my blood boil. What message are these people sending out to the rest of us? That they are more patriotic than us by spending there money on something that was probably manufactured by half blind, starving kids (on 20 pence for an 80 hour week) in some third world sweat shop, that cost about 2 pence to produce and are then sold to the gullible and banal by the ever profit hungry supermarkets for a 5000% mark up. To make matters worse I saw an obese, and it has to be said ugly, couple, who to make matters worse were from ""up north"" waddling around Scummers the other day and blazoned across the back of their ""sports shirts"" were the words ""English and Proud"" The mind boggles
Posted by goccibos, on 27-05-2006 17:03,
to add to rustics comments; these are the same people who cheer along the England team then leave the pub and kick the crap out of the town, break windows and abuse residents. ""English and proud"".
Posted by the bat, on 29-05-2006 22:49,
Why don't NHS bosses start hiring obsessive compulsives as nurses? Their attention to hygiene and constant hand washing would see an end to MRSA outbreaks in no time.
Posted by the bat, on 29-05-2006 23:06,
Dog owners that go to the trouble of picking the crap up in a bag then toss it into the nearest hedge!. Simply carry a carrier bag with two or three large stones in it around with you when walking your dog. That way everyone will think you are really conciencous and you wouldn't possibly NOT pick up that doggie crap, so any they find couldn't POSSIBLY be yours (eerrr, or your dog's).
Making a 20MPH speed limit in Victoria Grove won't stop cats from speeding. Why are they driving AT ALL!!! I hear cats taste like chicken, next time someone sees a 'flat cat' up Victoria Grove would they let me know please?
Posted by the bat, on 01-06-2006 08:52,
""Call any vegetables, call them today!"" sang Franz Zappa once. And yes Mr. Lindenau, I'm sure the fair trade vegies can not only talk to us, they can make love with us and among themselves of course. Consequence: I will become a ""Meatan"" from now on!
Posted by the bat, on 01-06-2006 12:12,
Further to goccibos's posting about Christian fish on cars. Does anyone know where I can purchase a similar thing but displaying satanic horns please? Yours Satan
Posted by draino, on 02-06-2006 20:14,
Those road sweeping trucks are rubbish, I saw one chasing a toffee wrapper around in circles for 20 minutes! ""Get out of the cab and use a broom!"" Also they cause noise pollution.
Posted by the bat, on 03-06-2006 20:14,
Does anyone have any iformation about the ghost which was sighted walking out of a wall and into the youth centre car park in Gundry Lane?
Posted by The Bat, on 17-06-2006 13:40,
There are too many TV celebrity chefs nowadays. Further to my perfectly reasonable suggestion that a sniper should be placed in the bell tower of the town hall to snipe the tyres off that white van that parks on the trafic lights thereby causing a GREAT danger to other road users. ..... While the sniper is up there, would it be possible to have any passing TV celebrity chefs sniped as well? Not only would this thin out the current population of celebrity chefs, but it would also promote the growth of new younger celebrity chefs with really nice recipes which don't rely on red peppers and tomatoes. Would it be possible to advertise for an experienced sniper in the local press, or maybe a card up on the wall in the Co-Op? Come on snipers, where are you?
Posted by Waldorf and Stadtler, on 21-06-2006 07:16,
Have you found yourself saying "The youth of today have no respect" or "In my day you could catch the train to West Bay, have a slap up fish dinner, three pints of IPA and catch the charabanc home and still have change out of a farthing" Well here's another feature we've revived from the archives that might appeal to you. especially if you are one of the elite Grumpy Old Gits.
