Santa Hit by Plane in Mid-Air Collision, Ebay blamed for tragedy. In what seems to be a most bizarre event Santa Klause (aka Chris Pringle) collided with a Boeing 737 (400 series) at 30,000 feet over the North Atlantic during his regular present delivery run.
Investigators from the NTSB say this is a one-in-50million event (that means if you had a £1 bet on odds like that you would get £50,000,000, less tax) (unless you paid the tax when you placed the bet. Ed.) 
The NTSC or National Transport Safety Board are carrying out a full and thorough investigation in to the incident, we spoke to Chuck McToysouttadapram: Me: “What happened Chuck?” Chuck: “Firstly I would like to say that in no way are the airline accepting any responsibility for this accident, the pilot saw a red object of approximately 60feet in length swerving over a huge area of sky, the pilot attempted to make radio contact with the unidentified craft to no avail. The 737 (400 series) was flying at 52,000 feet and 600 knots with a full cargo of goods purchased on Ebay heading for Britland, well you cain’t blame the Brits, the Dollar is screwed, I mean, 2 to the £, sheesh.” Me: “What happened Chuck?” Chuck: “SPLAT!” Me: “SPLAT?” Chuck: That’s rite boy, SPLAT, that dozer hog smashed rright into that bad boy, Nintendo Wiiiiiiiisss and Hair Straighteners all over the stratosphere, he was lucky to land that MotherFokker, we found a name tag in the APU (auxiliary power unit, a small jet turbine found at the rear of the jet ) on closer inspection we could make out the name, Rudolphus. I blame Ebay and their Buy-it-Now button. Flight Plan The flight plan logged with Air Traffic Control by Mr Santa himself indicated his next port of call was Bridport, so kids, it looks like you are all getting naff all.
Related article: SANTA SNIPED
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