Due to a recent spate of Cornish pasties masquerading as Dorset pasties in shops, cafés and restaurants in Bridport and the surrounds, Local Trading Standards Officers have raided several outlets and issued warnings to those vending the filthy imposters. Although the counterfeit pasties are extremely difficult to spot with a crimped crust and an egg glaze, the taste is the giveaway. Local Trading Standards Occifer said: “There is only one place to buy a real Dorset Pasty and that is Leakers on East Street, no further comment, no pictures, goodbye.”
This is the place to post rumours that you may hear on the extremely well-oiled Bridport Rumour Mill, and give other members the chance to either confirm or deny those rumours.
Rumour 1.
House recently auctioned off with out-buildings in Netherbury by Symonds & Sampson has been sold to celeb chef Lesley Walters for her to open up a new cookery school.
Rumour 2.
Martin Clunes moved to Beaminster after a falling out with the 3 Horse Shoes management and a handful of influential Powerstock villagers.
Rumour 3.
Parnham House was once about to be bought by Madonna and Guy Richie (as was Punkowle Manor).
Rumour 5.
The Bridport Radio is facing court proceedings for publishing this article.
Having counted all the sheep possible and still not being able to sleep last night I found myself resorting to trigonometry to disprove all this chat about Bridport being the celebrity centre of West Dorset.
Given that of the celebs regularly named as being based here, naming no names but let's call them HFW, BB, PJH and MC and given that they live respectively in Axminster, Burton Bradstock, Corscombe and Beaminster surely the centre (after much calculation) is actually North of Broadoak.
So when did Broadoak last feature in the musings of the London hacks? Grapeivy
Carlito says... "Something needs to be done about…
40 MPH MORONS
Place: Beaminster Road, Time: All the bloody time! Why oh why oh why do a VAST majority of idiots cruise along the Beaminster road at the break-neck speed (I’ll break their bloody necks speed) of 35-40 Mph. The National Speed limit is 60 and this is TWO WAY TRAFFIC. What is their problem??? It’s not just OAPs either!! There is one Ford Ka in particular that, on route through Melplash (at 20MPH, may I add), will not accelerate on leaving the village and retains that speed all the way to Bridport. Surely this is ILLEGAL!???!
WEST BAY
It’s a DUMP. Excluding East Beach and the old part of the harbour, West Bay should be napalmed off the map as far as I’m concerned. Over-priced chip-butties, crabby over-priced pubs, sky-rats, grockles and mid-age-crisis-bikers. Have the whole bloody lot strung up. Remember the good ol’ days? 25 pints of Stella in the George (when you could afford it at 1.80 a pint), and off to the West Point Tavern for a few shots before staggering up to Divvies for a Sunday night rock night where only 5 people were there? Art Galleries, tea rooms, hairdressers, bric-a-brac shops, concrete view-destroying monstrosities, Chelsea tractors and an army of Notting Hill-billies. That’s what it is, and something needs to be done about it.
At the risk of being boring... Did you see the Independent on Sunday this last week? The Review section six page spread. "Oh we do like to be beside the seaside.....Not long ago, Britain's coastal resorts were a byword for shabbiness and neglect. Now says Oliver Bennett, they're some of the hottest destinations in the UK. Overleaf, we reveal how 12 of the best were put back on the map" Guess who is number 7 on the list. (after number 6 Weymouth!)
My name is Rupert Takes-Dosh and I am the head partner of a firm that creates sand bars at the entrances to busy coastal harbour towns. My particular specialty is in creating sub-sea mud and silt banks that prevent pleasure boats, fishing boats etc from using the harbour safely, or indeed, allowing any vessel in distress to use the harbour as a safe haven due to the uncharted and unpredictable underwater hazard My partners and I prefer to work on harbors that in previous times were ok in most states of the tide and the banks that did occur were well known so that a little local knowledge would enable safe passage around them. If anyone hears of any openings in the area please contact Ruins, Harbour and Takes-Dosh on 0870 89898989
As you may or may not know SORTED is an anagram of DORSET -aptly enough you say, but can anyone think of a good one for BRIDPORT? *Bring on Carol Vorderman and start "Countdown" music* While you're at it think of one for "AN EGO STILL NO HINT " too.
I'll make it a bit easier on you, how about coming up with an acronym for Bridport instead? There's a Bridport Radio Mikkimug for the best one.
Val Temple from Sargeant Bun Bakery in Weymouth has come under fire from jobsworth trading standards officials this week, apparently her sugar marizipan confections contained no pork and her robin cakes contain no red breasted birds at all. Well BridportRadio's poet laureate Ma Baker will sum up this ridiculous affair for you...
The latest newspapers to wipwop the "Notting Hill-on-Sea" nefarious nonsense into their rags are the London Evening Standard and the Sheffield Metro, gleefully telling their towny readership to snaffle up properties in the area before house prices go through the stratosphere. So that's it kids either stay with your parents / in winter lets, or go somewhere else to live... I hear properties in South Wales are still reasonable.
It’s official, Bridport is to Install the World’s first Park and Slide scheme to ease traffic congestion, the Slide which will operate during peak periods 9pm–10pm September to April. Running from the top of Colmers hill in the West of town and corkscrewing through Symos and Allington, over the post office, delivering shoppers to the heart of town where shopkeepers are already fighting over the location of the landing pad.
Due to a recent spate of Cornish pasties masquerading as Dorset pasties in shops, cafés and restaurants in Bridport and the surrounds, Local Trading Standards Officers have raided several outlets and issued warnings to those vending the filthy imposters. Although the counterfeit pasties are extremely difficult to spot with a crimped crust and an egg glaze, the taste is the giveaway. Local Trading Standards Occifer said: “There is only one place to buy a real Dorset Pasty and that is Leakers on East Street, no further comment, no pictures, goodbye.”
At the risk of being boring... Did you see the Independent on Sunday this last week? The Review section six page spread. "Oh we do like to be beside the seaside.....Not long ago, Britain's coastal resorts were a byword for shabbiness and neglect. Now says Oliver Bennett, they're some of the hottest destinations in the UK. Overleaf, we reveal how 12 of the best were put back on the map" Guess who is number 7 on the list. (after number 6 Weymouth!) 
My name is Rupert Takes-Dosh and I am the head partner of a firm that creates sand bars at the entrances to busy coastal harbour towns. My particular specialty is in creating sub-sea mud and silt banks that prevent pleasure boats, fishing boats etc from using the harbour safely, or indeed, allowing any vessel in distress to use the harbour as a safe haven due to the uncharted and unpredictable underwater hazard My partners and I prefer to work on harbors that in previous times were ok in most states of the tide and the banks that did occur were well known so that a little local knowledge would enable safe passage around them. If anyone hears of any openings in the area please contact Ruins, Harbour and Takes-Dosh on 0870 89898989 
As you may or may not know SORTED is an anagram of DORSET -aptly enough you say, but can anyone think of a good one for BRIDPORT? *Bring on Carol Vorderman and start "Countdown" music* While you're at it think of one for "AN EGO STILL NO HINT " too. 
Val Temple from Sargeant Bun Bakery in Weymouth has come under fire from jobsworth trading standards officials this week, apparently her sugar marizipan confections contained no pork and her robin cakes contain no red breasted birds at all. Well BridportRadio's poet laureate Ma Baker will sum up this ridiculous affair for you...
The latest newspapers to wipwop the "Notting Hill-on-Sea" nefarious nonsense into their rags are the London Evening Standard and the Sheffield Metro, gleefully telling their towny readership to snaffle up properties in the area before house prices go through the stratosphere. So that's it kids either stay with your parents / in winter lets, or go somewhere else to live...
It’s official, Bridport is to Install the World’s first Park and Slide scheme to ease traffic congestion, the Slide which will operate during peak periods 9pm–10pm September to April. Running from the top of Colmers hill in the West of town and corkscrewing through Symos and Allington, over the post office, delivering shoppers to the heart of town where shopkeepers are already fighting over the location of the landing pad.
