The trouble is carlito that however hard you try to bait me in to some vitriolic counter attack to your rather limp wristed keyboard assaults on me, I just haven't got the heart to do it. I like you, I like your petulant, spoilt brat, yah boo sucks, mummys boy approach to life on the BR site. I like your combination of eloquence and hissy fits in the way you debate local issues and defending the right of bridport to retain its bridportness. Now! pop you jim jams on and turn the light off you've got school in the morning.
Posted by Carlito, on 26-06-2007 09:36,
Ed - Rustic has lost the match - first person on the Abuse a Member thread to geniuinely compliment a fellow member. One down...the rest of you cretins to go!
Posted by tuzo, on 26-06-2007 11:10,
does not seem fair to hit a guy when he is down though?
Posted by Jam Mistress, on 26-06-2007 11:36,
Can us girlies play? (that is under what maybe a perfectly wrong assumption, that you are all so far of the male variety). Not party to general outbursts of vulgarity and un-provoked verbal attack – I am, however, feeling a need to quell my urge to GET ON IN THERE! Let me make it clear from the outset I am not looking for cotton wool courtesy here due to the fact I have 2 (large & impressive) lady-lumps on the front of my personage. So to start with I have a few observations I would like to share… While Carlito hides behind the articulate and grammatically adept shroud of his so called humour and canny observations, I feel it necessary to point out I have met many a man with this kind of subversive bitter and contemptful venom that I have concluded the following; while Jeremy Kyle (not that I have EVER watched him I promise…) would conclude a serious lack of maternal affection and possibly even some form of mental torture involving his favourite teddy ‘Mr. Bear’, as a child – I would actually put this down to a fundamental lack of a likeability factor and therefore friends throughout his miserable and woefully cynical life. (Maybe we should give him a break & offer a little smug & patronizing sympathy…?) I am now compiling a list of some suitably childish and boorish insults for subsequent additions. This was boring – I am just going to fling lewd & insensitive remarks in future… Bat – you just seem like an ass. Where is Ooaargh in all this? Rustic, where do I send my photo’s…?
Posted by Jam Mistress, on 26-06-2007 12:00,
I'm sorry - did i get the title of this forum wrong, Tuzo....? This is not 'placate and back-pat' a member page now is it? Would you like me to start on you, you sychophantic weasel....?
Posted by Carlito, on 26-06-2007 12:11,
Jam Mistress...Take your ample puppies and over-worded meandering drivle and go back to your hole! My teddy bear was my best friend and I'll NEVER have a bad word said about him! You know how the saying goes, ""You can choose your friends""...SO I CHOOSE NOT TO! DING DING ROUND 9!
Posted by Carlito, on 26-06-2007 12:12,
TUZO YOU ILLITERATE ASS! Regarding my comment on your use of question marks.... ""DOES NOT SEEM FAIR TO HIT A GUY WHEN HE IS DOWN THOUGH""...is not a question. It's a statement with your STUPID question mark on the end of it. PLEASE REWORD RIGHT NOW BEFORE I POO MYSELF WITH RAGE! HERE! THIS IS HOW! ""IT does not seem fair to hit a guy when he's down though, DOES IT?"" BACK TO SCHOOL MORON!
Posted by tuzo, on 26-06-2007 12:46,
you really are down ...arnt you? its come to this? quibbling about question marks,so sad.. ah well it was good whilst it lasted he floats like a hippo and stings like a butterfly.
Posted by tuzo, on 26-06-2007 12:51,
sycophant? (JM) I very much doubt it..
Posted by Jam Mistress, on 26-06-2007 14:34,
Well, you were in danger of it for just a second Tuzo. Quibbling about question marks? Your grammar & punctuation is certainly questionable. Or is your velour-jogger wearing lazy arse just too embroiled in the brattish & chav 'text-type' vocab of today's trucker-capped, smack kids to bother gracing us with such trivia as good spelling? I imagine this fits you well.
Posted by Jam Mistress, on 26-06-2007 14:37,
is there one of those 'Report Abuse' bits on here...?
Posted by shagsack, on 26-06-2007 15:10,
Carlito, the only reason i have a tight sphincter is because i've never turned my back on YOU!!! jerkwad. Rustic was being just a tad sarcastic methinks...you flatulent oaf! Jam Mistress, were you the one who pulled teddy's head off? A joke's a joke but i've had to listen to carly sobbing down the phone all morning...a cruel bunny boiler of a mistress you are! ...MORE!!! tuzo, pathetic as ever. (?) ...Try harder you bum-tongued bowel trowel.
Posted by The Bat, on 26-06-2007 22:47,
Jam Mistress I would make a witty retort to your acusation that I 'just seem like an ass'. However, as you are not worthy of being taken seriously, I can only suggest that you run along and make a nice pot of tea you silly little tart.
Posted by Carlito, on 27-06-2007 08:46,
I'll take your under-educated spin on the ""Float like a butterfly, sting like a be"" Mohammed Ali catch phrase as a compliment! Hippos float beautifully, majestically infact. You are also forgetting the Painted Warrior butterfly of Bornio. Oh Tuzo, I really do pitty you. Why do you bother to carry on? Why persevere in the face of such defeat? Knowing when to give up, Tuzo, is a very commendable asset.
Posted by The Bat, on 27-06-2007 09:37,
Dear Carlito Once again your miniscule brain has excelled itself. If only your testicles were as big as your pea sized grey matter there may be some hope for you. But alas, they are not, and your penis is the size of a malignant wart on a frogs arse. Your repetitive verbal torrent of septic diarrhea spews forth from that anus shaped orifice I laughingly call your mouth. Your persistent and futile attempts to have your personality ingratiate itself with your own ramshackle mind is like watching a dog repeatedly returning to its own vomit. Your futile and hollow meanderings serve only to enlighten the reader to your own insignificant personality disorder which you choose to call ‘Carlito’. Even Viagra would not help your sexual dysfunction so why don’t you call it a day and sit down every time you have a pee. In short, you are a malignant boil on the arse end of Bridport society and like the common house fly you serve no discernable purpose you purple faced scum sucking chav of an excuse for a man. PS. Does everybody fancy getting together for a pint one night without Carlito? ______________________________
_________ ...at the Food Festi this Saturday afternoon - cut out and wear this badge -ED
Posted by tuzo, on 27-06-2007 10:59,
its sort of ""game over"" when people start correcting your punctuation and spelling.. imaging what you wear and saying they ""pitty"" you (is that how they spell it in Bornio?)Now you have me doing it.... you are all too nice
Posted by TravisBickle, on 27-06-2007 19:17,
TAXI DRIVER, THERE'S A FILM
Posted by The Bat, on 28-06-2007 06:11,
To quote this article 'The most apt, ... and original contribution will be presented with this wonderful DVD prize by the bloke what runs this website. I believe the following description of tHe bAt is the most original, as only I can write it: ME ME ME ME ME
Posted by Bentley, on 28-06-2007 09:46,
Hello mistress of the jam, I hadn't got involved in this particular bunfight yet as I have been really busy watching some paint dry. Some times it is better to remain quiet and appear to be a moronic cretin with the brain power of a wet fart, than it is to type away and confirm it, like carlito, tuz, bat, etc. I havent seen anything yet that would inspire me to a state of furious indignant rage that would warrant me throwing a few f***s about. I am sure it will occur but in the meantime I will just continue being nice and will concentrate on finishing my home made duvet made out of the fluff that I have found in my belly button and saved over the years.
Posted by Jam Mistress, on 28-06-2007 09:48,
I do not wish to be taken seriously The Bat, I much prefer wearing the dissimulate shroud of 'silly lttle tart-ism' as it allows for heaps more fun with feckless Skilling-ites such as yourself. I'm now off to make tea and cream up my scones... (and once you've managed a 'witty retort', do show us all. I'm sure everyones waiting with baited breath for one of those...)
Posted by Rustic, on 28-06-2007 10:02,
bat bullshEYEte
Posted by Carlito, on 28-06-2007 10:20,
The Bat I wouldn't have thought, that even in your wildest dreams, you would actually seriously attempt to match my might in this arena. But now you are giving me a choice. Do I pander to your diatribe, flex my venomous muscle and crush your pathetic prose with one blink of my left eye? Or do I remain calm and silent, and allow you and everyone else here to assume that your latest post has stumped Carlito. I don't believe that I can let that happen. The Bat...You are about to learn about the meaning of the word ""SPITE"", and the meaning of the word ""MALICE"". Two favourite words of mine. I am interested to discover, The Bat, that you know so little about me that your pitiful text is reduced to playground insults. Allow me to cut out your use and misuse of the English language and drill down to your actual ""hits"": 1. You have a small brain. 2. You have a small pair of testicles. 3. You have a small penis. 4. You speak as if you are speaking from your anus. 5. You have trouble blending your personality with your mind. 6. You have a mental disorder called ""Carlito"" and anything you post only excentuates that fact. 7. You have a sexual disfunction. (see point 3) 8. You are a metophorical boil on Bridport's society. Not bad, The bat. 8 hits in one post. With the impact of a nat passing wind in a hurricane. I am flattered that you have evidentally spent an inordinate amount of time in your precious evening to construct such a glorious waste of the other members' canvas. Time perhaps better spent with your family, rather than huddling yourself up to your digital soul-mate and masturbating shamelessly over the bridportradio website. No doubt, you're children will be VERY proud of you, to know eventually that their father was working so hard to keep a roof over their heads and food on their table, and somehow managed to find all of that time to live out his immature fantasies on a website - and defend them, in the face of the adult world. Well done The Bat. What a pillar you are to them. What further disgusts me about you The Bat, is that when you aren't cowering behind your dubious on-line character, your flacid postings are empty and dull. On the rare occurence that you actually give an opinion on a subject, you then retreat back to your character to soften your stance, or avoid awkward questions. You are a walking safety net The Bat, and that is cowardly and boyish. From the miniscule amount of real opinion you have ever posted, I can gleam that your attitudes towards women, drugs, race and culture are out-dated. It all smacks of a tiny, narrow mind, googling furiously for every long word, and Wikipedia-ing for every meaning behind them. I can only assume, The Bat, that you are a mistake. You know this deep down don't you? I wonder how inconvenient you were to your parents? Do YOU ever wonder that? Do you ever wonder if you have it in you to make up for your mistaken place in this life? I don't believe that you do. I believe that you don't live The Bat, you plainly EXIST. Any attempts that you may make thoughout your existence to make a positive impact, or atleast, any impact at all in society, are as futile as the life you lead. You are DEAD to me The Bat, and welcome to the rest of your pointless existence. May you always be afraid to stand in front of a mirror, and look yourself in the eye.
Posted by The Bat, on 28-06-2007 10:24,
Just found this on the internet: http://www.snopes.com/medical/
doctor/drruth.asp This proves that snipers are caring persons.
Posted by tuzo, on 28-06-2007 14:03,
i thought he(carlito 42) was rallying,you often get that towards the end, with that very very over long post but on closer inspection it looks like a classic case of ""projection"" take a break somewhere sunny perhaps, it is the only hope.
Posted by Rustic, on 28-06-2007 14:05,
I for one will not be wearing my bridport radio badge at the food festival. The last thing I want whilst stuffing my face and propping up the bar at the beer swilling area is to have an endless stream of peckerheads coming up and trying to guess my user name. I like the anonanimity and the fact that many people think they know who I am but have got it wrong. I for one am not bothered about finding out who people are on the site as I just love it as it is. See you badge wearers there on saturday wandering about wondering who is who you numties. Bottoms up. ps ed I would proudly wear a tshirt if you had one to give away to me but if you ever do a range of the disgusting american inspired puke rending apology for a fashion item ""baseball caps"" I will never post again. British people do not wear baseball caps unless they are very very very very stupid.
