Dear Doctor Malicious, Symondsbury Fete it is then. Goccibos and his allies must stand up and be counted. And then annihilated. Unless of course he wishes to redeem himself in the meantime.. I shall come alone, and leave the area well and truly cleansed. Best regards, fellow hunter. Edith.
Posted by Jammie Dodger, on 04-02-2008 14:54,
Dear Doctor Malicious. You can't just go recommending courses of action and then backtrack when someone actually acts on your advice. Not fair. I did what you said in solution 1. Do you really think that creepy grovelling (as per solution 2) would have made my situation any better? Are you just a tad envious that I managed to come out of the situation relatively unscathed? Have you been here before? Would you have preferred that I did the dutiful wife thing and door-matted myself in penance for my random act of debauchery? Have no fear - your name was not mentioned. Your previous advice made me a better, stronger person. You know what they say - ""if you can't beat 'em, join 'em"" - and I'm all for empowering people. Regards, Jammie Dodger. PS. I am not running away from anything, just trying to live life, and not be a martyr.
Posted by Doctor Malicious, on 04-02-2008 19:19,
Dearest Jammie Dodger (77) Please accept my profoundest and sincerest apologies. Nurse Septic had replied to you on my behalf without my authority, and I have since placed her in my laboratory for punishments that I see fit for such a poor judgment. I am GLAD you now feel empowered. Just ensure that your new found empowerment doesn’t come at a cost. I believe the saying is, “there’s no such thing as a free lunch”, in which there is much truth, although you may find that if a succession of free lunches is had, you may get away with the odd one or two. Moving forward Mrs Dodger, I would recommend a course in BDSM in order hone your newly empowered senses around the house. Be careful to avoid excessive bleeding and remember that pain is only in the mind of the receiver. I must now go and attend to Nurse Septic, who seems to have recovered from her last session and now needs her catheter replacing. Perhaps I should use the serrated version this time. NEXT! Dr. Malicious
Posted by Edith Ponsonby, on 07-02-2008 23:50,
Dear Doctor, I recently returned to Bridport and wonder if you have any views on goldfish? Regards, Edith
Posted by Doctor Malicious, on 11-02-2008 15:24,
Dearest Edith Some Don’ts and more Don’ts: Don’t use goldfish for pedal reflectors. Don’t ask a goldfish to lend you money. Don’t approach a goldfish from below. Don’t trust a goldfish with your children Don’t name your goldfish – it already has a name and it will hate you forever for calling it Graham. Don’t leave messages with your goldfish to relay to others. Don’t expect your goldfish to live beyond 2 weeks. And FINALLY Never underestimate a Goldfish. NEXT! Dr. Malicious
