Andy Head Said ""Sniper game sounds interesting, how would it work? If the barmaids were topless how would they hand you a drink or be able to see anything? Indeed how would know they were there as the bar is above waist height?"" Send out invitations to all local druggies with fake letter telling them they have won a car and they need to turn up to collect it at a presentation ceromony. Tell them they are to be presented with their ACE prizes on stage. When they are lined up on the stage tell them they have to be blindfolded to add to the suspense. Pin targets on theor chests and your away ! Re the topless barmaids, make them wear stilts.
Posted by chesilbank, on 15-01-2007 21:28,
OI! Mr Rustic, or should I say Mr Rusty, I have been monitoring this little battle for the last nine months and not thought it worth a comment until recently. Enough is enough you can only debate on one subject for so long before you bore the senate! look what happened to sezar!
Posted by Carlito, on 18-01-2007 10:22,
Existentialism: You have two cows that manage to break free from their field and discover the field next door. They return to their orginal field because the overwhelming knowledge of the acres beyond their boundary is far too humbling. Swinging at the Bull: You have a dozen cows and a dozen bulls. Some of the bulls and some of the cows decide that they are sexually unfulfilled, and due to their hooves, are unable to read self-help material at the sexual health clinic. They decide in ernest to disguise their milking parlour as a sophisticated gastro pub to front a swinging operation. Every week the group meet and put their bunches of udder-suckers in a big bowl and each bull in turn pulls out a set of suckers. The bull must copulate with the owner of the suckers.
Posted by Editor, on 18-01-2007 16:05,
And another thing...How has West One managed to degenerate into a drug-addled, violent chav-bar in such a short space of time? It must be to do with underground magnetic currents! I reckon the next owner should use a diviner!
Posted by Ivor Bigun, on 18-01-2007 18:49,
a few years back I had the misfortune of living close to Hardys (as it was then called) and it was full of foul mouthed drunken, publicly urinating, aggressive, under-age, chavvy scum then. Bring back the tea rooms.
Posted by Rustic, on 20-01-2007 17:28,
I think all drugs should be legalised! I don't take drugs and never will, why....because I know they are bad news. So, legalise all drugs, it will reduce crime and the cost of crime by a massive amount. Spend the money saved in policing on education. Make people responsible for their own actions, if you want to take drugs then this what will happen to you. Lets be honest, if i wanted to take drugs I could they are readily available all I have to do is turn to crime to fund the habit!
Posted by Sprockley, on 20-01-2007 23:02,
C#mon good people get a grip, if it is happening in feb then give us a date! if not, then let us know so we can help firm up a date else where...whilst the palace would be ideal there are plenty of other venues. lets do this thing!
Posted by Ivor Bigun, on 21-01-2007 18:49,
Why has this debate about traffic and parking turned into a biggoted row about pubs, chavs and drugs? Stick to the topic in question guys! Or are you just looking for an easy excuse to moan?
Posted by Editor, on 21-01-2007 21:37,
Oh yes, been there and signed that. I think this is one step to far for the all ready heavily penalised motorist,and people power will over turn this.Well i hope so !! My god, they dont even track serious offenders/criminals. I think they should fit tracking devices to our politicians,so we can find out what they really do during a working day.
Posted by mrplanet, on 14-02-2007 14:38,
Now tht turkeys are not safe to eat, we should start commercially exploiting these gulls for food.
Posted by Editor, on 07-03-2007 14:14,
Erm...you have to be twinned with a town to go there do you? I don't get it. Did I miss something. I'm off to Dubai for £0 return this year. Bloody rip-off if you ask me!
Posted by The Bat, on 27-05-2007 16:23,
And another thing, have you seen all the crap that the caravan people left behind at their tresspassing campsite behind the bowling green by St Mary's??? If you fancy starting a used car battery collection get yerself down there fast before they all go :/ Now that the 'travellers' have barrackaded themselves in Palmer's field opposite Mountjoy, I'm sure it's going to take a year or two to get them out. May I tentatively go out on a metaphorical limb here and suggest that this problem could easily be sorted out overnight with one well placed man and a night vision sight. But Nooooooooooo, what do we get? A bunch of do gooding lefty socialist trotskyist woolly pully wearing, bearded, hippy type social working courderoy jacket with leather elbow patches wearing responsibility avoiding gits who insist that the lunar landings in the 60's were faked in a Nevada movie studio and aliens landed at Roswell. Roswell !!!! Learn from the lesson Bridport!! Take a fuzzy movie of a sheep dressed in silver space suit with a shakey 8mmm black and white camera and put the town on the map!! And while your at it polish your shoes!!!
Posted by 1950sparks, on 20-06-2007 11:30,
Rustic, Re. swimming in the harbour - Thanks, that was my head. Sorry for the delay in replying, that concussion can be a b*gg*r to shake off. Being a visitor to the town I thought you were just being friendly but I am relieved to see you were stoutly upholding the law. Later I did indeed ponder at length the question of what to do if one was unfortunate enough to fall into the harbour (again !). As you have rightly pointed out the ban on swimming makes it a somewhat difficult situation to deal with but one, nonetheless, in which the law of the land may not be broken. Actually, it’s just occurred to me while writing that there may be a loophole here, perhaps it is Marine law that would apply in these circumstances and so the sign which is posted on the land may be ignored – see you in court. To continue, my preferred action in future, assuming the tide was in, would be to simply sink to the bottom and walk to the wall then grope for a ladder. In addition I suggest making careful notes of where the ladders are beforehand and wearing an old pair of Clarks with a compass embedded somewhere in them. Alternatively if you are a fakir of some description (and it sounds like you could be) you might possibly simply shut down for a few hours and have a rest on the bottom until the tide went out. In any case wear a helmet in order to survive attacks from any brick-throwing law enforcement agents who may be passing by.
Posted by Rustic, on 23-09-2007 18:33,
Even though you are a visitor it is nice to know that you take the laws of our area seriously sparks, personally I think people should just do the decent thing and drown quietly if they fall in thereby not breaking any laws and not inducing some poor heroic lifeguard type to dash into action for a rescue thereby disturbing the peace and harmony of tbne universe and inadvertently adding to the problem of climate change. Drown and save the planet
